More on Untangling Leadership Fears

By Marcia Ruben • March 10th, 2009

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important thcouragean fear.” Ambrose Redmon

It is easy to talk about courage when everything is going well. It is quite another to call up that state of being and sustain it when we are gripped by fear. Many years ago, I researched and taught courses on stress management. I used to joke that I was teaching what I most needed to learn. I have since discovered that managing ourselves is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It is a skill to remain calm under pressure and stay balanced when the unexpected strikes. Employees do not want to see their bosses rattled or lose their cool. They want a leader who is a calming influence.

So how do you summon a state of courage when you are quaking in your boots? How can you better roll with the punches, so that as leaders you can, as Dave Cooke writes in his blog, Pure Cooke, “…encourage and empower and motivate our teams to find ways to enhance and improve the business?” As Dave so aptly states: “While we are immediately and centrally focused on the revenues and cost side of the business spectrum right now, we cannot lose sight that the ideas or solutions that will save our business is probably not in cost savings. Rather, it will be found in your passionate, motivated, and innovative team working together to turn things around. ”

I have found the following to be helpful both personally and in working with clients. First, check your thinking. Are your thoughts rational and logical? How real are the threats? What actions can you take to mitigate the risks? Secondly, you cannot come up with creative ideas when you are not breathing. Most of us take very shallow breaths. When I want to come down, I take in two long deep breaths through my nose, and breathe out in four long breaths. This has an automatic calming effect. And finally, connect with others. I am making a conscious effort to reach out to friends and colleagues who are upbeat. And I watch myself carefully to make sure that my words are creating a positive reality. According to social constructionists we create our reality through conversations with others. Right now, the national conversation taking place in the media is doom and gloom. I want to create a more empowering and positive reality, so I watch my words, and the feelings that they evoke in me and others. If I can uplift myself and others through conversations, even if for micro-moments, that creates a positive reality in that moment.

If you are struggling between fear and courage, contact info@rubenconsulting.com for a free 10-minute consultation.

Please join in the conversation. Have ideas for being courageous in the face of fear?

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Comments(2) Business, Fear, Leadership, Leadership Wisdom, Leadership and Coaching

Comments

By Michael D Goodman on March 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Fascinating conversation that I first caught on through Dave Cooke’s Tweets and Blog. One of the most important I think today in the face of not just a painful economic condition but the media who play it up ever higher daily as a move to boost their own revenues through advertising sales.

The play, both for advertisers and for our brain share is one of fear. I can only wish I was the one to quote when Roosevelt in his inaugural address stated “we have nothing to fear but fear itself.” It was a brilliant and accurate message.

David Burns, M.D,, an excellent psychiatrist and author wrote a series of books on language structures and strategies to shift emotional thinking. When I found them, I immediately called the Doctors office and signed up to learn as much as I could about his methodologies. As a sales professional they are invaluable and as a sales manager the value has been incalculable. Sales people fail more often than not based on their own fears of appropriate activity rather than their lack of skill. I think business owners are in the same boat.

The primary book is called “Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy” and a simpler primer called “Ten Days To Self Esteem.” Once you get past the purpose of supporting emotionally struggling people and recognize the huge value here, you soon discover both personal and professional tools to support yourself and your subordinates in overcoming daily fears.

The simple gist is that while in fact we may have a real issue to deal with, like being laid off, the anxiety, fear and uncertainty of that behavior is based on something we believe to be true but is in fact not. Ten Days To Self Esteem is filled with strategies and tools to find and fix these issues and can be found in most bookstores.

In my business, I have just arrived at a place where I am ready to declare war on a derogatory economy. It is a perception as much as a functional issue and small business owners rather than government are the solution. This is our time to shine as heroes. This is our time to stand up, deliver our goods and services and collect our due. Then like shampoo, repeat as required.

You can consider my solution to fear,to perform activity to work my way through it.

Warmest regards,
Michael Goodman
Executive Director
AzSalesPros

By Marcia Ruben on March 11th, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Michael, thanks so very much for your thoughtful comment. I have heard about David Burns and is work and am a huge proponent of using language to shift thinking. It is so powerful. You are right on in saying that our anxiety is concern about some awful, unimaginable future. And I agree that small business owners are the solution. I wish you the very best in shining like a hero. You have the right attitude and I am inspired.
Best wishes,

Marcia Ruben

 

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Marcia Ruben, Ph.D., CMC

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