Leadership Tangles Blog

We are still within the first month of 2014 and The Chinese New Year arrives on January 31th.  The Water Snake symbolized the last Chinese year and was a year of reflection. In contrast, January 31st ushers in the year of the Wooden Horse. This year is all about action. Before the era of modern transportation (think cars, jets, rocket ships), horses symbolized speedy success in China. They were the fastest means to get from one place to another. Horses also symbolize a desire for freedom, passion, and leadership. If we follow the symbolism implied by the year of the horse, we will all need to mindfully set clear goals for this year. 2014 promises to be a busy year.

 What is the best way to set goals?

 There is some fascinating and seminal research that provides guidance on how to set goals.  Gollwitzer and Oettinger are researchers at NYU. Their research suggests that when we set goals related to our own interests and personal values, learning new skills, and connecting more closely with friends and within our communities, this leads to positive well-being and higher life satisfaction.  On the other hand, when we choose goals such as making money, becoming famous, and acquiring high status, we experience a reduced level of well-being. Why?

Goals such as making more money and becoming famous are not only vague; they don’t give us enough clarity to succeed. They also don’t address the social needs that we have in life such as connection and community.

So, first, we want to think about what really interests us, what skills we need and want to acquire, and our own social needs, and set our goals accordingly. For example, I have two very important goals that I want to achieve this year. I am very interested in neuroscience and its impact on leadership behavior. One goal for this year is to master three to five new coaching skills related to neuroscience research. A second goal is to make time each month to spend time with one of many good friends who I miss, and with whom I have not spent enough time. Setting goals like these two support my interests, values, career, and connection with my community and friends. They are a good start.  I already feel intrinsically motivated to achieve these. Now the next step is setting Implementation Intentions, so I have a road map to pursue my goals and strategies to deal with obstacles when they arise. What goals are you intrinsically motivated to set this year?

Implementation Intentions

The notion of implementation intentions is one nugget that I have already learned and applied from neuroscience. It turns out that how we set goals is as important as the goal itself. Gollwitzer and colleagues stress that we need to set goals with what they call “implementation” intentions: when, where, and how implementation will start, and what course subsequent goals will take. This may be done by framing what they call “If-then” intentions. “If situation Y is encountered, then I will initiate behavior Z in order to reach goal X!”

When attempting to change habits and behavioral patterns, I develop the “If-then” process as an Implementation Intention.  I have been experimenting with my own goals and also using this notion in my executive coaching practice.  For instance, I can be reactive and anxious when under pressure to complete a tight deadline. I would like to remain calm at all times. That is a noble goal and I have had a difficult time attaining it in all crunch situations.

On the other hand, if I clarify the situation that causes me stress, and set an intention about how I will behave in that situation, I am much more likely to achieve the goal. It turns out that the executive function of our brain is set to a default mode. When under stress, I feel anxiety in the pit of my stomach. So, I have found it effective to set a goal like this. When I realize that I am close to a deadline, and feel the wave of anxiety in my stomach,  and I have not gotten as far as I would like to be, I will pause, take a few breaths, and ask myself, “what is the best way to get this done?” I have found this highly effective and my anxiety has diminished. What implementation examples can you set for yourself.

More Examples of Implementation Intentions

For my goal of seeing one friend a month, the first thing I will do on the first of each month is to contact one of my friends and set a date to meet. If it doesn’t work out for that friend, I will contact another. I will set aside one lunch and /or evening a month for these meet ups. The key here is that I have clear tasks assigned to specific situations so I exactly know if, how and when I will acquire the task which will be in support of my goal.

 For my goal of mastering three to five coaching skills related to neuroscience, I will set aside 15 minutes three times a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, to read either a chapter in one of the neuroscience and coaching books I have on my shelf and/or articles I have in my electronic files. I will add notes to a coaching practices journal that I keep for myself. What implementation intentions can you set for yourself?

Add Mental Contrasting When Creating New Goals

Here is another piece of wisdom to further ensure successful goal attainment, what Gollwitzer and colleagues call ‘Mental Contrasting’ versus ‘Indulgence’ or ‘dwelling.’

Mental Contrasting occurs when we decide if we really can commit to the task.  We do this by reflecting on  the benefits of attaining the goal (closer connection with friends, even greater success in coaching)  versus the present day constraints that keep us from realizing them (busy schedule, time to take on one more thing).  We need to ask ourselves how realistic it is to regularly accomplish the tasks that we have set out for ourselves in our implementation goals.  Gollwitzer and colleagues recommend that we pause for a moment, and reflect. Doing this exposes our own truths. In my two examples, I would realize my own limitations in committing to set aside one lunch and/or dinner a month to meet a friend, and how I sometimes have early morning meetings and/or calls on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Indulgence would be blindly convincing myself even though realistically I know what usually happens during a typical month (a lot!), and how realistic it is for me to commit to the goals. I could then make some adjustments to ensure my success.

Combine Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions

 A powerful way to ensure behavioral change is combining Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions. First set goals that you are really committed to and that are realistic for you to achieve. Then, design your goals with enough specificity (if-then) so that you will overcome natural resistance and habitual responses.

According to Gollwitzer and Oettinger, we are more likely to reach these goals and achieve greater life satisfaction because we set  goals that align with my interest, and values. Additionally, by taking the extra step to set clear Implementation Intentions that support our process, we are likely to succeed.

What do you want to accomplish this year?

When you integrate mental contrasting strategies with implementation intentions, they support a powerful behavior change intervention. This year, you also have the support of Wooden Horse for action. If you are looking for ways for create new habits that will ensure your success, this is the year.

Pick a gratifying destination, stay on track, and stay safe. My wish for you is your most rewarding year ever!

A colleague of mine, I’ll call him Aaron, is a professional dancer who has worked in a international professional dance company for five years. He and I got to talking about his work and the leadership tangles that have presented themselves. As we spoke, I realized that therewere some lessons to be learned for all leaders. Here is the first excerpt of an interview I conducted over a period of several weeks.

Marcia: Describe what it is like to work in a dance company.

Aaron: Being part of a dance company is similar to being on a team. We work together, get feedback together, practice together, and perform together. Being surrounded by my fellow dancers creates a sense of community and boosts my personal motivation to work hard. I know that my colleagues are beside me, and that I have friends going through the day sharing experiences with me.  This atmosphere creates a great working environment to thrive in.

Marcia: Are there any drawbacks to working together as a whole team?

Aaron: The only drawback is that with only one director in the room working with nine dancers the amount of personal attention or “one-on-one” coaching time is limited. Sometimes we have both directors in the room if our rehearsal director and company director are working with us simultaneously. Even with two directors, this does not greatly increase the amount of personal attention we individually receive.

Marcia:  As a dancer, how much personal feedback do you expect to receive?  

Aaron: As a professional dancer, I am aware of my personal responsibilities when I walk into a rehearsal environment. I know what my strengths and weaknesses are in regards to the repertoire we are working on. I am also aware of the work necessary to improve on the things needing of improvement. Most of the time however, a little extra guidance in the “right” direction can be a huge help.

Marcia: So are you feeling like you don’t get enough feedback?

Aaron: This is not a “cry for attention from a child feeling neglected.” Last week, though, something happened that made me realize how helpful it is to have just a little more attention. Last week, while running through our repertoire piece in the morning, our company director decided to release all of the dancers in the company for the remainder of the workday. I was the only dancer asked to stay behind in order to work with our rehearsal director on a new piece. For the next three hours she and I worked with each other, creating movement material and exploring the range and possibilities of my physical potential.

The experience for me was both exhilarating and challenging at the same time. I found the extra focused attention I was receiving to be motivating. I wanted to push myself especially hard because I was the only one in the room to be seen. I felt that it was important to put the absolute best of myself out in the room. This added intensity of effort also proved to be rapidly exhausting. Because there was no stopping, and since the attention was always on me, I felt my energy burning down much quicker than it normally did in a collective, “full” rehearsal. 

Marcia: What motivated you about this experience?

Aaron: What motivated me the most about this experience was the fact that I felt I was being approached and worked with as an individual, with specific abilities and unique talents. My rehearsal director would ask me to try something that she thought would work well on my body (aesthetically), and then would give me the opportunity to familiarize myself with the movement. She took the time to assess whether the movement looked right for my physique. If something didn’t look right or wasn’t working the way she had hoped, she talked to me and helped me rework that specific movement until we came to a solution that was both aesthetically what she was looking for and physically within my range of movement possibility.

Through this open dialogue of back-and-forth crafting, assessing, reassessing, changing, and progressing, we ultimately ended up with (in my opinion) a very nice chunk of choreography. It was aesthetically the direction she wanted and because it had been worked so well onto my body based on my personal skills and abilities the movement didn’t come across as “forced” or “inorganic.”

Marcia: What was the result of this personal, one-on-one attention?

Aaron: My respect for my rehearsal director was greatly increased after this experience. I genuinely appreciated the time that she gave to me individually. It felt like for a brief moment we had completely creatively synced up. I felt as though I understood a bit more about her working process, and she understood a bit more about how I dance.

Marcia: What advice do you have for leaders who want to get the best performance from their staff?

Aaron: I know that there are not enough hours in the day to do this kind of work with every employee. However, I do feel that it was both important for me as an individual, and for my sense of individuality in the company to have this experience. Spending some one-on-one time with my rehearsal director allowed for a much fuller and all-encompassing dialogue to occur – which I feel both parties mutually benefitted from.

Marcia: So investing some time to focus on key strengths, and providing feedback to hone those strengths is both motivating and results in higher performance?

Aaron: Yes, definitely

Advice to Leaders

Leaders, are you providing your team with focused, personal attention? As an executive leadership coach, I have found that providing your direct reports with individualized attention reaps dividend in team performance. Not everyone needs the same amount of attention. Your job is to figure out who needs what attention and how often.

Last summer, we took a road trip from San Francisco, through Zion, Bryce, and on to Telluride, Colorado. While in Telluride, we took a fly fishing lesson from Marty at Telluride Fly Fishers. Marty was a great guide and very patient with this city girl! I had piled on several layers of clothes in anticipation of wide temperature swings in the Rockies.

Marty outfitted us with waders and wader boots. I slathered on gobs of sunscreen, donned heavy duty sunglasses, and a hat for extra protection. I looked like Nanook of the North and collectively we looked like Hans and Frans!

Looking the part, I thought I was ready act the part! Besides, I was there in a dual role. As your Tangle Doctor, I recognized the opportunity to observe analogies between fly fishing and leadership tangles! 

Conscious Leaders Create Less Tangles

Marty eased us in to fly fishing by having us first cast from a parking lot next to a stream. Fortunately, I didn't hook any trucks or cars! We soon got the hang of the motion and he took us to the gorgeous river pictured above. I waded in and cast and then reeled the line in again and again. There were a few trees to be wary of and as long as I was conscious of my surroundings, I avoided snagging a tree. In the business world, it takes conscious effort to not get oneself entangled in miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Simple Tangles Happen

Even with expert guidance from our guide, and even after a perfect cast, the lure itself got caught in my line and in a tree. When there were only a few knots, it was pretty easy to find the loose end and separate the lure from the line, untangling the line. I just needed to step back, relax, gently pull on a line here and there, and let the source of the knot emerge.

In real life, it is much the same. When tangles-- unproductive working relationships, snarled lines of communication, and fuzzy lines of authority--show up, leaders, teams and organizations experience eightened emotions, conflict, blame, and "us versus them" thinking and behavior. For these types of tangles, leaders need to step back and figure out where to start, remain patient, try different approaches, and experiment with ways to rebuild trust and collaboration with diverse groups of people.

Sometimes You Have to Cut the Line and Start Over

Back on the river in Telluride, one of my lures got caught in the line and was hopelessly tangled. We tried to untangle the line and could not. There was only one solution. Marty got out his scissors and cut it off. He started over with a new lure and fly. 

In the business world, if the tangles get so bad, and I call these "Strangling Tangles," it is sometimes better to bring in a new team and start over. About five years ago, I did a case study of a company that had been nearly bankrupt, brought in new leadership, and turned the company around. This was only possible because the team that created the knotted mess could not see its way out. A new and bold visionary leader came in, brought in action-oriented leadership, made some tough decisions, and turned things around. 

In fly fishing, I was a beginner and didn't fully get the hang of casting on a river bed, surrounded by big trees. Marty, our guide, was an expert, and he had honed his peripheral vision so that he not only could easily spot fish. He rarely snagged his own line.

But with the right guide, even as a beginner, I was able to avoid all but one strangling tangle. Marty, our guide, was an expert, like the turn-around leader, and he had honed his peripheral vision so he could help me avoid snagging my own line, and show me what to do quickly when it became snagged beyond an easy repair.

If you have snarled lines of communication and unproductive teams, if conflict and misunderstanding gets in the way of productivity; remember to remain conscious and address tangles before they strangle your organization, and also remember, help from a guide may be quite useful. 

By the way, Marty's coaching was expert enough that not only did I learn more about tangles. I was able to catch and release two fish! Less tangles meant more productivity. The same is true in the business world! 

Your intrepid Tangle Doctor has been tied up, so to speak, implementing new ways to untangle corporate leadership knots and teaching MBA students how to work well together and be effective leaders. So many tangles, so little time! 

Recently, I came across a metaphor first put forth by Dr. Robert McNeish of Baltimore, Maryland. Dr. McNeish was a science teacher who was fascinated by geese, and why they flew together in a V formation. According to McNeish, when geese fly in formation they can take advantage of the "uplift" from the geese in front. Each time the goose flaps its wings, it helps the goose just behind. The effort of one enhances the effort of all. 

What's the human analogy? In one of my earliest jobs, I worked for a Fortune 500 company that sold health-related consumer products. I was part of a team of ten who worked directly with the national sales force. We put on monthly sales conferences all over the country, for 200-400 people at a time. Each conference was a big production and there was no room for error. Four members of our team handled the behind the scenes logistics, while the rest of us traveled the country, facilitating the meetings and being the "face" of the company. We worked closely together to keep the meetings current, and to continually improve the process. 

Our leader was fantastic at creating a sense of family and team spirit. We were each appreciated for the talents we brought and the success of one of us enhanced the success of all. The jobs were both exhilarating and draining, and our leader encouraged teamwork and camaraderie. Like the geese, we flew in formation, educating and motivating our sales force! 

Enjoy the video below. The visuals are stunning and the music is haunting.

Leaders, a team moving in the same direction is likely to have less tangles, that is, less internal strife and conflict. What are you doing to encourage a common direction and sense of community? 

Recent research suggests that what we wear impacts how we feel and how we perform. As an executive leadership coach who often works with leaders to enchance their executive presence, this is really helpful information. I often coach women leaders to observe how other senior women, who they perceive as competent and powerful, are dressing. Often the differences, i.e., in accessories, shoes, etc. are subtle, yet worth noting. I sometimes advise clients to change and/or upgrade their wardrobe. I have also advised male clients to make sure that their shoes were polished (I learned this from my grandfather who always said you could tell a lot about a man by the appearance of his shoes.) My clothing advice was based on my own experience in the corporate world and observation. Now, with the power of this research, and recent articles, I feel even more confident in strongly arguing that clothes do make the man and woman!

Further, in difficult, tangled, emotionally charged situations, our perceptions of ourselves and others do influence how we behave. In research I conducted, those who felt powerful and competent, yet viewed others as not, took actions that made the situation more tense and more tangled. Those who felt powerless and viewed others as more powerful and less competent also took actions that added more tension and limited productivity.

I don't believe that the problems of the world will be solved by upgrading our wardrobes. I do believe that understanding the symbolic meaning of what we are wearing, and making conscious choices to wear something that makes us feel our best is a very good place to start. And I have worked with leaders who needed to stifle their urge to dress down those junior to them in the organization. In discussions with them, they dressed down some but not all. Perhaps those who wore their power clothing were not targeted. It is certainly food for thought!